10 tips on how to journal

Journaling is a great activity: it helps you get creative and think about your feelings and emotions. It reprents a moment in which you think about yourself, and allow your thoughts to get alive.

On the other side, journaling can get hard at times: when you lack inspiration or feel overwhelmed, writing or sketching something on a page can become difficult. In this article, you’ll find a few tips to help you through these moments.

  • Take inspiration from a magazine or a newspaper. Magazines and newspapers are great tools to organize the visual layout of your pages. Don’t just copy something, but try to rielaborate it through your own visions.
  • Use pictures, post-its and sketches to fill up the space. At times, what we have to write just doesn’t cover two whole pages. It’s ok to use stuff that’s not completely related to your topic, it’s your journal, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
  • Don’t stress over something that’s not perfect. Nobody’s perfect, we are all humans, and perfection is an ideal noone will ever achieve. It’s ok if your writing isn’t as cute as usual today, or if your sketch didn’t come out the way you wanted it to. Art isn’t perfect, and that’s what makes it meaningful.
  • Choose a main color for every page. Colors are what makes your journal visually attractive. Whether it’s black and white (yes, I know they actually aren’t colors) or pink and yellow, colors attract people and please the eye.
  • Go floral. Don’t set limits to flowers: they keep you in a good mood and help you fill up space, they’re easy to find in magazines and nice to draw.
  • Put some effort in the typo: change it from time to time, try out different styles and don’t be afraid of using colors and forms. Working on the typo is actually really pleasant: it helps you relax and keeps you busy while processing your thoughts and organizing your ideas for the pages.
  • Take inspiration from your surroundings and the people you meet. Inspiration comes from the most different elements: from a feeling, a smile, a landscape, an object. Don’t underestimate anything and value every little thing of your surroundings.
  • Listen to some music and sit outside while journaling, or sip some coffee, it will all help you get into the right mood and let out that little madness that’s typical of an artist.
  • Don’t force yourself into journaling if you don’t feel like it. Trying to fill out your to-do list is great, but remember that, at times, you just won’t feel like doing anything. Rest, get out with your friends, watch TV, it’s ok not to always stick to your plans.
  • Don’t be afraid of trying. Write the poem that came to your mind yesterday, draw that female figure: who care if it’s not perfect? It’s your own journal, your own choiche. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, you cannot improve without experience.

How to eat better in 5 steps

Food plays a huge role in our everyday-life, therefore the way you eat influences yourself in diffrent ways. Here are five tips on how to better the way you eat and help you get closer to that life you’ve always wanted.

  • Plan your meals in advance. Consider your daily intake of calories (you can calculate it thanks to this site) and remeber the three macros you need to have are carbs, fats and proteins. Carbs are what gives you energy. They are formed both by the ones you usually call carbs (pasta, bread, rice etc.) and by fruits and vegetables. Fats are also important to make your body function properly: don’t cut them all out. They are contained in a lot of processed foods, but also in oil, avocado, nuts, salmon etc. Proteins are particularly important to build muscles, and they are mainly contained in meat, legumes, milk and cheese. Balance the three of them to get perfect results.
  • Prefer unprocessed foods to processed ones. By eating unprocessed foods you’ll be able to know better what goes into your body: remember Feuerbach’s teory we are what we eat.
  • Schedule one or two unhealthy meals every week: having some meals that aren’t under strict control will help you feel a lot less stressed and won’t affect your freedom.
  • Avoid drinks that contain sugar. Switch to water instead.
  • Don’t eat in front of the tv or your phone: it’s gonna distract you from feeling full when you are in fact, and will lead to a low appeciation of the food you’re nourishing your body with.

How to treat people with mental illnesses

The purpose of this article is to help spread knowledge and acceptance towards mental illnesses and how to react to them. Too often, in fact, we don’t know how to react to people with depression or anxiety, and end up both making our friends feel uncomfortable and feeling weird ourselves.

Let’s make it clear, as a beginning, that there are a lot of different mental illnesses and that every person has their own way of feeling, and, as a consequence, even if we have had experiences with mental illnesses, we should never feel entitled to judge someone.

Here are some tips on how to act with people going through something rough:

  • Don’t judge. I don’t care if you had depression yourself, if you’re a cancer survivor or if you think you’ve had it worse. People are different and react differently, never ever should you feel entitled to judge someone you know nothing about.
  • Be open and listen if they need to talk. At times, the simple act of listening to them can make people feel valued and loved. You never know how important it can be for someone to just have a friend’s comprehension.
  • Don’t give advice if they don’t ask you for it. I know this may look like a weird suggestion, but most people with mental illnesses know what they should be doing, they just don’t have the energy to do it. Do not ever say anything like: “You just need to eat”, or “You would get over this if you went outside more often”: it’s extremely painful to hear something like that, believe me.
  • Do not belittle the problem, no matter how little it looks to you. You’re not them, remember it.
  • Don’t point out what’s worse. Some people automatically do it: when they hear of someone’s problems, they feel the need to point out that there are worse situations. Ever heard anything like: “Come on, there are literally people out there dying because they cannot get access to food”? Yeah, same. This is toxic, remember it and avoid it.
  • Do not force people into doing things they don’t feel like doing. It’s nice to be propositive, but if the answer is no, don’t try to change it. This surely has some exceptions, in particular when trying to help someone get into therapy, however, let’s make it clear that forcing your anorexic friend to eat that slice of pizza will only make the situation worse.
  • Suggest them to see a psychologist. Don’t force them into doing it, but point out the positive aspects of such a decision and be supportive if they decide to go for it. Say that you can go with them the first few times if they need to, or offer your help with calling and getting there.
  • Check on your friends once in a while. We all have a busy life, but, if you don’t find time for your friends, can you really call them so? Try to check more often on those friends of yours whose behaviour looks so weird lately, and make sure they know they can always count on you.
  • Remember not to be too present. It’s really nice if you decide to help people who need it, but don’t jump into their lives at any possible moment. Remember people need their privacy and their time alone: understand it and act consequentely.
  • Remeber about yourself. Don’t let all your energy sink into a toxic behaviour: it’s good to help, anyway, if you feel like you’re getting too involved, remember to take a step back and care about yourself.

10 steps to gain control of your life

This is something that has happened to me a lot: I had dreams, I had goals and I had ideas, but I had no clue how to build my own life and finally take control of my time. Luckily, after a year of preparation and tests, I was selected to go abroad for a year. My routine got broken down and I had to rebuild it all little by little in another country. When coming back to my homecountry, by the way, I had forgotten what my routine looked like before leaving, and, once again, had to find ways to form a new one.

Now, after a lot of meditation on the changes that have turned me into the person I am, one of the things that I underline the most is the interruption of a non-effective routine I had chosen for myself. By it, I don’t mean that we all have to spend a year abroad in order to change our lives, but I’m really convinced that breaking our habits is a great way to start.

Here are the ten most effective steps I took in order to take control of my life and finally achieve my goals:

  • Define your goals. This may look like a stupid start, you’ll probably be questioning yourself on why you’re still reading this article, but what I ask you is to simply take a moment and think about your goals for real. Do you have them all figured out? Can you actually see who you want to become? The reason I decided to start like this is that a lot of people have a vague idea of their goals, but never really took the time to think about them, and, I believe that’s irrelevant to say, you’re not going anywhere if you don’t know where to go.
  • Write your goals down. Different researches show that writing down your goals makes you more likely to accomplish them. I’d like to highlight, anyway, that writing your goals on paper helps you analize them in an objective way and, consequently, decide if you’re willing to spend your time and, often, your money, to achieve them. You can find help on how to write your list of goals here.
  • Do something everyday to get closer to one of your goals. You know what? You’re not going to get where you want by sitting on the couch. You’ll have to work hard and sacrificize something in your life in order to be successful. Tomorrow is already too late, start now.
  • Stop wasting time. I don’t want to make you anxious, but you don’t have plenty of time. If you don’t do what you need to now, you’re going to regret it later. Toxic relationships and a job you hate are, in fact, a waste of time. It can be hard to get out of a toxic relationship, especially when you’re still in love or when you have hundreds of memories with that person (this also applies to friendships). At the same time, it can be hard to quit your job, when you don’t know what the future will look like, but let’s talk about dreams: is this what you have always wanted? Is this the life you were dreaming about? Believe in yourself: you’re a strong individual, you’re going to be alright even out of that relationship. There are plenty of jobs out there waiting for you, apply for a new one. You have the power to change your life: make changes happen.
  • Take care of your body. Your body is as important as your mind, the Latins were right: “mens sana in corpore sano” (a healthy mind in a healthy body). Eat nutritious, clean food, commit to that workout routine, do whatever works for you, but don’t understimate your health. Know your worth.
  • Feed your mind. Your mind needs to be fed just as much as your body needs to. Switch the TV off and read that book. You can find a list of narrative books that will help you see the world with different eyes here.
  • Listen to your soul. You can be the smartest and most beautiful person on earth, but, if you don’t keep your soul green, no flower will grow from it. Take time for yourself, meditate, take a yoga course, heal your wounds. Spend some time alone, listen to yourself: find out who you are and where you are right now.
  • Work on your self confidence. You can find tips on how to improve your self confidence here. Remember that you are the first one who should believe in yourself.
  • Surround yourself with positive people. You have to be in a great environment if you want to have success. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your choices and are always there to support you. Cut off all the toxic relationships in your life, you don’t have energies to waste.
  • Remeber to rest from time to time. It’s great to work hard, but remember that work isn’t everything: put yourself in the first place and know when it’s time to stop. Challenge yourself, but don’t forget your needs.

10 steps to improve your self confidence

Let’s admit it, self confidence is what we all look for in the people we meet. Someone who knows their worth is attractive, envyable and magnetic. Ever wondered how that girl in your class always had the courage to raise her hand, or how that man looked so respectable? Here are a few ways to improve your self confidence and finally become that person everyone looks up to.

  • Know your worth. This is the first thing you have to do in order to improve your self confidence. Figure out all the stuff you’re good at, and write your better characteristics: you’ll be surprised by how capable you are in different aspects of your life.
  • Observe. Get comfortable with observing people around you. We all have qualities and flaws: being able to recognize and respect them on other people will help you accept yourself.
  • Get comfortable with spending time alone. Go for a walk, meditate, read a book, be a tourist in your own city. Spend some time alone, and learn to appreciate yourself and your surroundings.
  • Laugh at yourself. You’re a great individual, you’re strong and you’re brave, but let’s admit it: you’re a weirdo at times. Remember that time you fell off your bike and looked around to make sure nobody had noticed? The next time, don’t. Laugh at your mistakes, embrace your weirdness and your imperfections.
  • Know your needs and set boundaries. You’re capable of a lot of things, but you’re human: it’s ok to take some rest at times or to take a day off for yourself. Knowing your needs and your limits will help you with giving your best in the right moments.
  • Nourish your body and work out. A healthy body helps your mind work better. Working out is also a boost for your self esteem, and a body you’re proud of will make you more secure about yourself.
  • Compliment and appreciate others. Self confidence starts from the relationships you have with the people who surround you. The more positivity you’ll spread, the more positive you’ll be towards yourself.
  • Don’t take things personally. If someone attacks you for the way you behave, or how you completed a task, analize their views and decide whether they can be useful to improve yourself. If so, express your gratitute towards them for helping you on your journey. Otherwise, remember that a lot of people judge because they’re insecure about themselves. It’s their problem, not yours: accept it and move on.
  • Fake it till you make it. It’s hard, at times, to accept ourselves. Smile at your reflection in the mirror, compliment your choiches about food and the hard work you’ve done in the gym. Smile at strangers in the streets, take big decisions and big risks and pretend to be sure about the outcome. You’ll be surprised about how natural it will all become in the end.
  • Be your biggest cheerleader. Believe in your work and be proud of your results. Appreciate the way you were able to handle things with your friends and how good of an athlete you’ve become. Be your own confident and cheerleader.

10 narrative books to see the world with different eyes

Your mind needs to be fed just as your body does. As a big fan of books, here’s a list of ten books that you absolutely need to read and that will help you see the world with different eyes. Most of them are classics, well, I guess there’s a reason they are.

Most of these books have different layers of meanings, so be careful while reading them:

  • The secret garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. I had read it as a kid and absolutely loved it. Recently I decided to read it again and found out there was more to discover than what I had perceived as a 9-year-old.
  • Invisible cities by Italo Calvino. This is the only book, except The secret garden, that I’ve read twice. It’s my all-time favourite and I could not let it out of my list. It’s a book about Marco Polo, an Italian tradesman, and his conversations with Kublai Khan about the cities he has visited.
  • 1984 by George Orwell. I don’t have much to say: an incredible classic, that shapes your political views and helps you think on your own in this world.
  • The alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I read it a lot ago and have confused memories about it, but what I surely remember is the feeling I got at the end: absolutely a must.
  • The little prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. The French writer had a simple narrative style, that’s comprehensible for everyone, but that hides all the deepest meanings of life.
  • Into the wild by Jon Krakauer. A biographical book about Alexander Supertramp’s incredible trip to Alaska and the people he met along the way.
  • The bell jar by Sylvia Plath. Not sure if this is a classic, but you should definitely give it a read. It’s a semi-autobiographical novel by the American poet, mainly describing her thoughts through the events of her teenage years.
  • The kite runner by Khaled Hosseini. A great book to understand the reality of Afghanistan, which looks so distant from us but is, in fact, so close, and the characteristics of a true friendship.
  • Lolita by Vladimir Vladimirovič Nabokov. A disturbed love-story between a grown-up man and a young girl, through the eyes of the protagonist, that makes you question your values and views.
  • The old man and the sea by Hernest Hemingway. One of the greatest books of all times, through a simple, linear story, Hemingway was able to describe both a great friendship and a though character, withouth ever mentioning emotions directly.

7 ways to write effective lists of goals

Do you ever write down a list of goals but get just half of the work done? Keep reading: in this article we’ll find out how to write goals so that you have no other choice but to accomplish them.

I’ve always loved making lists, and, in particular, lists of goals, but somehow I often ended up with so much stuff on a page that crossing off half of it was the best I could do. Lately, some new ideas came to my mind, and actually worked when I tried them out.

  • Divide your goals into urgent and non-urgent ones. Start by listing the ones that you absolutely need to accomplish.
  • Choose three goals from the first category. Don’t fill your days with useless stuff, think and act in a smart way.
  • Select one important goal and get it done. Write it at the top of your page in capslock or in whichever way catches your attention. Remember that this is what you’re going to be the most proud of at the end of the day.
  • Make a list of stuff that you never get done and insert one of these goals everyday into your daily list.
  • Try to figure out how much it will take to accomplish the things you’ve written down at this point and add less important stuff that you can still get done by the end of the day. If you have a job interview, remember that you can find ten minutes to do the washing-up when you get home.
  • Divide the big goals into smaller ones and get every part done on different days.
  • Plan in advance. Remember that you cannot get a hundred things done on the same day. When writing lists, take into account the fact that you’ll probably need to rest a bit during the day and will have to make small changes in order to make the best out of the week.

8 ways to start again

We’ve all been through those periods of life in which everything seems wrong and we constantly feel like we’re missing out on something. It doesn’t matter if it’s been after a mental breakdown, a period of stress or the end of a relationship: that’s when we need to start over.

I’ve always had this idea that to start over you need a special day: the first day of the year, a Monday or a Sunday, the first day of the month. I don’t know what it was with me, but guess what? You don’t need a particular day to start over: a first something or anything like that. Everyday is a great day to start over, everyday is a special day, in which you can make a difference in your life. You shape it, little by little. Here are some tips on how to start again after what you went through.

  • Go for a radical change on something. It can be your hair, your wardrobe or your house: change it. By it, I don’t mean that you have to buy a new house or throw away all your pieces of clothing, but that you have to start rethinking your whole self. Declutter your room, donate those clothes you don’t wear anymore and make space for all the new ones. You’re going to start a new chapter in your life, make sure that it looks like it. A radical change helps your mind with staying focused on the goal.
  • Get rid of all the things that caused you pain or were linked to your suffering. Who cares if it was a bracelet or a shirt? If everytime you look at it you suffer again, it’s not worth it.
  • Set goals. Planning is a great way to keep your mind busy and focused on who you really want to become. You can learn how to write down your goals in an effective way here. I’m sure there’s something you’ve always wanted to do and never really went for. A useful tip is to learn one new thing every month. Have you always wanted to learn how to cook? Do it. This is the right time.
  • Figure out what you have learnt from the lesson life has given you. Did you understand who, between your friends, you can always count on? Did anything help you get out of the situation? What did not work and consequently led to that issue?
  • Take care of yourself. How long has it been since you had that hot bath? Make yourself your priority.
  • Set boundaries. I know you end up thinking about the past at times, but try to focus on the present. It’s ok to check on your ex co-workers or on your ex, but don’t become obsessive. The past can be appealing, but remember that you walked away from it for a reason.
  • Appreciate your progress and your strenght. You walked yourself out of a toxic situation: you’re much stronger than you think. I know you don’t feel like you have your life together, but I promise that you’re much closer to your goals than you think you are.
  • Don’t quit. This means: don’t look back to that toxic ex you just walked away from. Don’t try to stalk those people who you cut all the bridges with. Don’t walk into a new toxic situation just because you think you can’t make it by yourself: you can. Believe in yourself.

The reason behind this blog

I’m Alessia, a young girl from Italy, whose dream is to build the utopian world we’ve all imagined to live in.

The idea behind this blog is to create a safe space for all of us who have been struggling with self-love, with their body image, with their mental health and with being accepted by society. I know it can be hard to understand who we really are, and it can be even more difficult to live by other people’s expectations. This is a space to become the best versions of ourselves. It’s a space where we’re free to express ourselves, our needs and our potential. It’s a space where we discover that we’re not alone and where we can share our battles and find tips to get better. It’s a space thought for those struggling with their mental health, as well as marginalized people and the lgbtq+ community. It’s a hatefree zone, a place to spread positivity and new ideas, and to help people deal with those issues they cannot, for various reasons, talk about in their everyday-life.

Feel free to message me whenever you feel the need to, or simply just to say hi. A reminder that you’re amazing:)

Alessia