self love – safespace

What you actually need in life

I’ve been really inactive lately, but I’ve been super busy with UNI, life and self care. By the way, I’m back, and, if there’s something that the beginning of UNI and the last months have taught me, it’s what you actually need in your life.

I know that a lot of you will be tempted to answer “love” to this, but, you know, most of the time the love of your life has little to do with your own happiness. Watch out: I’m not saying that relationships are useless or that you cannot find happiness in them, what I’m saying is that there’s more to life than romantic love. This is my ultimate list in five steps of what it takes to build a healthy, fulfilled life.

Self love. Self love and self acceptance are the keys to happiness. No one was born perfect, but it’s up to us to understand how fantastic we are. Here is a post that can help you with getting better at accepting yourself.
Mutual respect in relationships. No matter if you’re talking about a romantic relationship or a friendship: respect is a necessity when it comes to the way we treat people or we’re being treated by them. Respect comes in different forms: understanding a person’s needs, boundaries and accepting the time they require to grow.
Support. This is an absolute need: having someone who’s there for you, no matter what, will make a difference. No wonder you’re a strong, independent person, but we all have our bad days: support is something that does, in fact, make a difference.
A dream. Call it how you want: a dream, a purpose in life, a reason to live: you need something that makes you jump out of bed in the morning and gives you enough strenght to get through the day. If you’re struggling with finding your own place in the world, I suggest you read this article.
Courage. Life will never be perfect, and not everything will go as planned, but there’s no reason to give up on your dreams. Challenge yourself once more, it takes courage and bravery to get up everyday and start again, but, remember, you can do this: I believe in you, your strenght, you got this!

What else do you think you need to live a happy life? Let us know in the comments below!

Secrets of confident people

You know that girl in your class, who raises her hand even though she’s not sure about the answer? And that woman, who walks proudly down the street, even though her hair is absolutely messy, and you can’t help but loving her and her confidence? These are the reasons why we’re here: to work on your self confidence. But this time, we aren’t going to explore what you should do to boost it: this time we’re going to talk about those things that confident people try to hide. If you’re interested in little steps to take to boost it, I suggest reading this article.

Ready? Keep reading to find them out.

No one was born with their confidence completely built. The one to self confidence is a long, hard journey. Nobody’s going to help you, and someone is going to tear you down, but, believe me, it’s worth it. Don’t think that others had it easier: everyone had to go through their own journey and face their difficulties.
Sometimes you’ll look like the evil one for respecting yourself. Yes, that’s true. You don’t feel like doing something that makes you uncomfortable, and suddendly you’re the evil one. The one who held the group back. You know what? Keep doing what you want to and don’t even pay attention to the comments of people who know nothing about your journey.
There will be ups and downs. One day you’ll feel like the work is done, like you can do everything and unconditionally love yourself. But the day after you’ll feel like shit, and wonder what happened. That’s ok, that’s normal and you’re doing nothing wrong. Everyone experiences it, and you’re on the right path. Keep going.
You’ll lose friends you thought you loved. When you move on, someone will notice the change and tell you that you have changed. That’s what you want, but it’s not always what they want, too. They were friends with your old self, and may have some difficulties accept your changes. Let go of those people who hold you back and make you feel like you’re doing something wrong. Here’s how to start again, if you need to.
You’ll notice toxic behaviours more. Something that hardly even bothered you befre becomes something you cannot stand anymore. What your parents do, how your friends call each other, a lot of little stuff becomes suddendly unbearable. You may even notice that people close to you are getting extremely toxic. Here’s what to do in case that’s what happens. Speak up for yourself and keep going.

Which of these situations have you experienced? How did you react? Share it with us in the comments below!

The 21 days-glow up challenge

I was scrolling through Pinterest yesterday and got into a 30 days-glow up challenge: basically a challenge that helps you better yourself, physically and mentally, through 10 actions that you have to repeat everyday for thirty days. What came to my mind is the fact that it’s hard, at times, to focus on many different things at once, especially when you’re going through a difficult period in your life. Therefore, what I decided to do was to write my own glow up challenge, and substitute the ten actions with one single action everyday that helps you better your life.

How it works

Basically all you have to do is to accomplish the goals set for everyday. The tasks are simple and don’t take too much time, so that everyone can partecipate in the challenge. Are you asking yourself why I chose to make it last 21 days? The answer is that human beings need 21 days to make or break a habit. So, what’s the habit you’re going to build? The habit here is simply to take care of yourself, doing something for you and you only, understanding your worth and your possibilities.

The challenge

Here are the tasks: remember, one thing everyday. After 21 days, you can restart, or go on with your list of self-care habits.

Day 1: drink at least 2 litres of water
Day 2: tell yourself three things you like about your personality
Day 3: do a face mask
Day 4: clean your room
Day 5: work out for an hour
Day 6: cook your favourite meal
Day 7: start reading a book (for ideas on which books to read next, I suggest taking a look at this article)
Day 8: give up your phone for a day
Day 9: spend time with a loved one
Day 10: go to bed an hour earlier than normal
Day 11: spend a whole hour doing one thing you love (ex. cooking, drawing, working out, gardening, making music…)
Day 12: take a hot bath
Day 13: point out 3 things you’re grateful for in your life
Day 14: text an old friend you haven’t seen in years
Day 15: meditate (it doesn’t matter if it’s for two minutes or half an hour: focus on your breath, on your mind, on yourself)
Day 16: watch a movie you love
Day 17: exfoliate and take care of your skin
Day 18: spend at least half an hour listening to music and relax (you can find 5 recent songs that ask for social change which I highly recommend here)
Day 19: look up information about a issue you’re interested in
Day 20: eat a big and healthy breakfast (find tips on how to eat healthy here)
Day 21: write a page about yourself

Have you tried it? Do you need help with anything? Have you got a suggestion for a new challenge? Let us know in the comments below!

10 habits to make your life better

Getting stuck in a place is one of the worst things to experience, in particular if it’s a psychological state. Most of the time, change is actually possible through little steps to better yourself day by day.

Eat better: you don’t realize how much of an impact eating makes on your life until you start eating better. You can find out how to change your habits meal by meal here.
Get enough sleep. Sleep is such an underestimated aspect of our life. Most of the time, we don’t understand the importance of having a regular sleeping schedule and the benefits it can have on our bodies. Sleep is the battery we have to recharge, it’s a moment to let our mind relax and run free and it contributes to a large variety of bodily functions.
Learn a new skill every month. If food and sleep are important for the body, learning a new skill every month will help your mind stay young and focused on your life goals. You can find a list of underrated skills that will better your life here.
Drink more water and less alcohol. I know, your friends drink and you can’t refuse champagne at a party, but try to keep alcohol for special occasions. Alcohol alters your bodily functions, while water is necessary to keep you at your best.
Move your body. Your body is made to be moved. Your mind quits a lot earlier than your body does: kick yourself out of the sofa and go for a walk, you will feel a lot better after it. Consider scheduling at least three workouts/walks every week, ask a friend to start a new sport program together.
Declutter your house, your car, your desk at work. Throw away all those unnecessary things that you’ve kept “just in case” and have used once in the last three years. Clean your wardrobe, donate those clothes that you don’t use anymore, you can also try to sell the ones in good conditions to a second-hand shop and get some money out of it.
Focus on a big goal. Choose a goal that’s important for you to accomplish and focus on it. Invest your energy in a long-time plan and put all your effort in achieving that big goal. Three years from now, you’ll thank yourself.
Plan your days. Planning your days will help you stay focused on what’s important or what you actually want. It will help you avoid distractions, manage your time and put you ahead of work. You can find out how to write an effective list of goals here.
Set internet controls. It’s difficult, at times, to keep track of the time we waste on the internet. Don’t get me wrong, the web is a beautiful place if you use it wisely, but how often do you find yourself scrolling through instagram or facebook? Reduce the time you spend that way and invest it on a new hobby.
Read a new book every month. Your mind needs to be fed, and reading is a great way to do it. Choose books of the topics that you’re interested in the most and, in the beginning, try to force yourself into reading. Remember it takes 21 days to build a habit: don’t quit. You can find a list of great books to read here.

10 steps to improve your self confidence

Let’s admit it, self confidence is what we all look for in the people we meet. Someone who knows their worth is attractive, envyable and magnetic. Ever wondered how that girl in your class always had the courage to raise her hand, or how that man looked so respectable? Here are a few ways to improve your self confidence and finally become that person everyone looks up to.

Know your worth. This is the first thing you have to do in order to improve your self confidence. Figure out all the stuff you’re good at, and write your better characteristics: you’ll be surprised by how capable you are in different aspects of your life.
Observe. Get comfortable with observing people around you. We all have qualities and flaws: being able to recognize and respect them on other people will help you accept yourself.
Get comfortable with spending time alone. Go for a walk, meditate, read a book, be a tourist in your own city. Spend some time alone, and learn to appreciate yourself and your surroundings.
Laugh at yourself. You’re a great individual, you’re strong and you’re brave, but let’s admit it: you’re a weirdo at times. Remember that time you fell off your bike and looked around to make sure nobody had noticed? The next time, don’t. Laugh at your mistakes, embrace your weirdness and your imperfections.
Know your needs and set boundaries. You’re capable of a lot of things, but you’re human: it’s ok to take some rest at times or to take a day off for yourself. Knowing your needs and your limits will help you with giving your best in the right moments.
Nourish your body and work out. A healthy body helps your mind work better. Working out is also a boost for your self esteem, and a body you’re proud of will make you more secure about yourself.
Compliment and appreciate others. Self confidence starts from the relationships you have with the people who surround you. The more positivity you’ll spread, the more positive you’ll be towards yourself.
Don’t take things personally. If someone attacks you for the way you behave, or how you completed a task, analize their views and decide whether they can be useful to improve yourself. If so, express your gratitute towards them for helping you on your journey. Otherwise, remember that a lot of people judge because they’re insecure about themselves. It’s their problem, not yours: accept it and move on.
Fake it till you make it. It’s hard, at times, to accept ourselves. Smile at your reflection in the mirror, compliment your choiches about food and the hard work you’ve done in the gym. Smile at strangers in the streets, take big decisions and big risks and pretend to be sure about the outcome. You’ll be surprised about how natural it will all become in the end.
Be your biggest cheerleader. Believe in your work and be proud of your results. Appreciate the way you were able to handle things with your friends and how good of an athlete you’ve become. Be your own confident and cheerleader.

8 ways to start again

We’ve all been through those periods of life in which everything seems wrong and we constantly feel like we’re missing out on something. It doesn’t matter if it’s been after a mental breakdown, a period of stress or the end of a relationship: that’s when we need to start over.

I’ve always had this idea that to start over you need a special day: the first day of the year, a Monday or a Sunday, the first day of the month. I don’t know what it was with me, but guess what? You don’t need a particular day to start over: a first something or anything like that. Everyday is a great day to start over, everyday is a special day, in which you can make a difference in your life. You shape it, little by little. Here are some tips on how to start again after what you went through.

Go for a radical change on something. It can be your hair, your wardrobe or your house: change it. By it, I don’t mean that you have to buy a new house or throw away all your pieces of clothing, but that you have to start rethinking your whole self. Declutter your room, donate those clothes you don’t wear anymore and make space for all the new ones. You’re going to start a new chapter in your life, make sure that it looks like it. A radical change helps your mind with staying focused on the goal.
Get rid of all the things that caused you pain or were linked to your suffering. Who cares if it was a bracelet or a shirt? If everytime you look at it you suffer again, it’s not worth it.
Set goals. Planning is a great way to keep your mind busy and focused on who you really want to become. You can learn how to write down your goals in an effective way here. I’m sure there’s something you’ve always wanted to do and never really went for. A useful tip is to learn one new thing every month. Have you always wanted to learn how to cook? Do it. This is the right time.
Figure out what you have learnt from the lesson life has given you. Did you understand who, between your friends, you can always count on? Did anything help you get out of the situation? What did not work and consequently led to that issue?
Take care of yourself. How long has it been since you had that hot bath? Make yourself your priority.
Set boundaries. I know you end up thinking about the past at times, but try to focus on the present. It’s ok to check on your ex co-workers or on your ex, but don’t become obsessive. The past can be appealing, but remember that you walked away from it for a reason.
Appreciate your progress and your strenght. You walked yourself out of a toxic situation: you’re much stronger than you think. I know you don’t feel like you have your life together, but I promise that you’re much closer to your goals than you think you are.
Don’t quit. This means: don’t look back to that toxic ex you just walked away from. Don’t try to stalk those people who you cut all the bridges with. Don’t walk into a new toxic situation just because you think you can’t make it by yourself: you can. Believe in yourself.