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15 random acts of kindness

How many times do we want to be helpful, but don’t know what to do? Through the years, I’ve found out that some simple acts can be perceived as particularly positive and can have a great impact on other people’s lives. Remember: what doesn’t look like a great change to you may mean the world to others.

So, I’ve decided to make this list of random acts of kindness that don’t have that much of an impact on your day, but can improve someone else’s life. None of these requests for a lot of time, and many can be done within half an hour: no more excuses to make the world a better place!

Keep reading for ideas:

Smile at people when you walk past them on the streets. Not one of those creepy smiles strangers give you at times, but a genuine, simple smile. You won’t make someone’s day, but can for sure improve that moment.
Pick up trash. Heroes don’t get rewards: take care of the environment and pick up trash on the streets. You will be helpful to your community and will suddendly live in a cleaner space.
Put positive notes on mirrors. Whether you’re at home or in a public toilet, it will take you 2 minutes to come up with something nice that will definitely make someone’s day.
Always say please and thank you. You don’t need a reason to be kind: recognize people’s favours and thank them for their help.
Call your grandparents or a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Do you remember that big smile on your grandmother’s face when you were a kid and spent the day with her? Don’t forget about her and call once in a while.
Bring chocolate to a friend who’s been really busy lately. Ask yourself what you would appreciate in moments of intense stress and do it for your friends. Chocolate is just an idea, something that I personally would appreciate a lot and that doesn’t ask for a lot of time.
Cook a meal for your family or for your housemates. If you want to be extra, ask them about their favourite meal and cook it, otherwise just make them find a warm meal when they come home from work or from school.
Bake cookies for a friend. Baking always is a fun activity. Bring the cookies over to a friend and eat them together with them.
Do all the housework by yourself. Make your parents or housemates find a perfect house when they come home, they’ll surely appreciate it.
Donate stuff you don’t use anymore. There are clothes you’ve bought years ago that still find place in your closet, but you haven’t worn for ages. Donate them, someone will surely appreciate what you don’t need anymore.
Walk or cuddle a pet. Not only will you exercise and relax, but it will make the pet feel loved too.
Write a kind text message to someone. It will take around five minutes and will make people feel extremely valued and loved.
Send anonymous flowers. People love flowers, they light up the house and contribute to the positive vibes.
Buy a little present for your siblings. Remember them they’re loved by buying something you know they will like.
Volunteer your time. Whether you’re giving out food, clothes or helping kids with their homework, it will be totally worth it: not only will you help people in need, but you’ll also master new skills and learn to listen. You can find an article on why you should totally volunteer your time here.

Do you have other ideas or suggestions? Feel free to write them in the comments below!

An explanation of the main sexual orientations

Since it’s difficult at times to understand what exactly a sexual orientation is like, here is a brief summary of the main ones. Please notice that there are people who identify with one of these, as well as people who identify with more than one sexual orientation or who don’t feel comfortable with identifying themselves as belonging to one of the following.

Every sexual orientation is valid and people deserve love and appreciation regardless of what they identify with.

This list is especially made for people who need to clear their minds about sexual orientations, whether because they cannot find enough information, or need to think about theirs more.

Remember that you’re valid, and deserve to be respected and loved, regardless of your sexual orientation. If you’re struggling with telling anyone about it, take your time and remember you don’t have to come out if you don’t want to. If you need help or need anyone to talk to, feel free to contact me or to write a comment below.

So, let’s get started with the list:

Bisexuality: the sexual orientation of a person who can feel attracted in a romantic/erotic way both to male and female individuals.
Asexuality: lack of sexual desire. Remember that asexual people can still feel attracted in a romantic way to other individuals, but they don’t feel the need to manifest it through sex.
Gay: a man who’s romantically and/or sexually attracted to another man.
Pansexuality: a sexual orientation which refers to people who can feel attracted to all genres. This includes males, females, transgender, cisgender and non-binary people.
Non-binary: people who don’t identify themselves as male or female. This includes people who consider themselves other than male/female, none of them or both.
Gender fluid: a person who can identify themselves as male/female/neutral/any other non-binary identity in any moment.
Agender: a person that doesn’t identify themselves as belonging to any of the genres.
Transgender: a person whose biological sexuality differs from their sexual identity. This includes genderqueer and non-binary people.
Intersexual: people whose sexual cromosomes, sexual organs and/or secondary sexual characteristics cannot be defined as masculine or feminine.
Lesbian: a woman who’s romantically and/or sexually attracted to other women.
Polyamory: the philosophical concept which allows people to have more than one intimate relationships (both romantic and/or sexual) at the same time, with the consent of all their partners.
Polysexual: sexual and/or romantic attraction to more than one person.
Demisexual: a person who can only feel sexually attracted to someone after they’ve built an intimate relationship with them.
Queer: people whose sexual orientation or identity differs from the heterosexual/cisgender one. A term that refers to gay, lesbian, pansexual, bisexual, asexual, transexual, transgender and/or intersexual people.

Do you have questions, want to know more or have anything to share? Feel free to write it in the comments below!

Morning habits to start your day right

When you don’t feel like getting up, the struggle is real. Here is a list of 10 habits to start your day with full energy and keep yourself productive through the whole day: let’s start!

Get up early. How earlier, how better. Waking up early allows you to prepare yourself for the day and to wake up together with the sun.
Don’t snooze. When your alarm rings, no matter how you slept or how tired you feel, you must get up. You don’t wanna be late, and you don’t want to lay in bed the whole day. Come on, open that window and smell the coffee.
Drink water first thing in the morning. You already know how important it is to keep yourself hydrated. Take care of your body and drink water after a long night of no water.
Make your bed. Making your bed gives you a good feeling about the room, and gets you in the mood of doing useful stuff.
Work out or meditate. Working out boosts your mood and makes you feel full of energy for the day. Working out in the morning is also more effective than doing it during the day.
Wash your face and/or your body. Make sure to wake yourself up through a cold shower, and wash off the fatigue.
Eat a healthy breakfast. Though it’s not true that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, it still covers our need of energy for the morning. Make sure to nourish your body: prefer fruit, smoothies, yogurt, dark chocolate and wholegrain bread to snacks and heavy ingredients. You can find a guide on how to eat better here.
Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and proud of yourself. Looks aren’t everything, but they help. Make sure to wear something that makes you feel at your best and walk proudly into the office. You can find a guide on how to reorganize your closet and make sure you’re wearing what fits you best here.
Boost your mood with music. Music is great to start the day right. Listen to it while you get ready or drive to your workplace and sing along if you feel comfortabe doing it. Want some suggestions for music? Here are 5 songs for social change.
Repeat a mantra. Believe in yourself and remind yourself what a beautiful person you are every morning. Try something like this: “I am proud of myself for how far I’ve come. I’m grateful for who I am, what I have and the people I’m surrounded with. I’m working on myself, for myself, and I’ll succeed in improving who I am and in reaching my goals.”

How to deal with depression

This surely is a difficult topic, but I find it extremely important to spread knowledge about it. In this article, we’ll explore strategies to deal with the most common of mental illnesses.

To know more about depression itself, read this article which I previously wrote about symptoms, definition and perception of depression in our society.

This is a little guide in ten steps on how to deal with an enemy as depression:

Reach out for help. This is really important: don’t try to overcome depression by yourself. You deserve help and acceptance. Get into therapy, look for a good psychologist and talk to them about your problem. Talking to someone who’s there to listen to you is the first step to heal.
Forgive yourself. You weren’t able to get that mark you wanted because you felt too exhausted to study. You know what? That’s ok. Your mental health comes before your grades, before your job, before standards.
Rest when you need to. You see your friends partying all the time and your collegues working so hard, while you can’t help but sleep. That’s fine, you’re fighting a hard battle, fighting depression asks for a lot of energy.
Don’t force yourself. If you don’t feel like going out today, it’s okay. You don’t have to prove shit to anyone, take your rest.
Remember that a bad moment shouldn’t ruin your whole day. If you lay in bed for three hours, that doesn’t mean you cannot grab your coat and go for a walk now. Remember that you are in control of your time.
Look for activities that bring you pleasure. It happens, at times, that what we enjoyed before depression doen’t seem that cool anymore now. That’s ok, we’re individuals that are made to move, to change. Try out new stuff, and spend time doing what you love. Here you can find a list of activities worth trying.
Apply the previous point to sex. If you’re sexually active, but don’t find pleasure in sex anymore, that’s also ok. You don’t have to force yourself into something you don’t feel like doing. Talk to your partner and look for new romantic activities to do together with them.
Reward yourself. Recovering from depression is like training to win a marathon: reward yourself for every extra mile.
Whenever you feel down, make lists of your qualities. Try writing a list of the things you’re capable of and pointing out at least ten qualities. Write another list and point out what you were able to achieve in your life and are proud of. Write a third list and add your goals for the future. Remember yourself why you want them so bad.
Remember you worth. You’re strong, brave and deserve the world. You will overcome this, reach your goals and have the life of your dreams. Don’t give up.

A look at depression

I’ve decided to write this article because of the fact that I was diagnosed with depression earlier in my life, and had to face a lot of stereotypes and difficulties regarding social awareness. Whether you’re the one suffering from it, or you’re looking this up to better understand a friend or relative, I think it’s important to spread information and acceptance of this mental illness.

First of all, what’s depression? It’s a medical illness, which negatively affects the way you think, feel and act.

It’s relatively common in our society: one in six people will experience depression at some time in their lives. On average, it first appears during the late teens to mid-20s, but it can strike at anytime.

The main symptoms of depression include:

feeling sad
loss of interest in activities that we once enjoyed
changes in appetite (eating too much or too little)
troubles sleeping or oversleeping
difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
loss of energy
feeling worthless or guilty
thoughts of death and/or suicide

These symptoms have to last at least two weeks for a diagnosis of depression, and don’t have to be present all at once to indicate depression. If you find yourself in these symptoms, please don’t remain silent, talk about it with a loved one and ask for help.

If you have a loved one whom you suspect is suffering from depression, here are some steps you can take to help them.

What I find interesting is the impact depression has on people’s lives and the way they’re perceived by society.

So, who are depressed people? Are they dangerous? Are they annoying? Are they, in any way, different from the rest?

Depressed people are often people who don’t stand out, who are not dangerous and, most of the time, who are really clever. Depression affects the way people think and act, but doesn’t make the ones suffering from it any dangerous or annoying people. Here are some traits that people who suffer from depression usually have in common:

They lack energy: they will cancel plans and/or pretend they’re busy all the time to get a little bit of rest.
They lack motivation. They usually won’t be able to accomplish the goals they set, due to their lack of motivation.
They pretend they’re fine. Depressed people don’t like to admit that they’re feeling sad, and will make up excuses to justify their silent behaviour at times.
They have low self esteem. Depressed people don’t see themselves in a positive way, and therefore will make jokes about their personality and/or don’t believe in themselves at all.
They keep silent or point out really deep stuff. People who suffer from depression will most likely avoid deep conversations or have a huge part in them. They’re people who like to observe, and this will lead to them pointing out really interesting stuff or stay silent and keep it for themselves.

Apart from these points, which by the way aren’t common to all people suffering from depression, those fighting it are usual people. They’re fighting a battle inside themselves, that takes up energy, time and courage. If you have a friend who’s suffering from depression, remember it’s not that they’re lazy or cannot take things seriously: fighting depression in exhausting, and they’ll need your support at times. Don’t leave them alone in this battle.

Would you like to know more or have something else to share? Write it in the comments below.

How to reorganize your closet

As you know, the purpose of this blog is to provide a safe place for all. So, along with analysis of mental illnesses and tips on how to deal with various problems in life, I’ve thought it useful to write a piece on how to reorganize your closet, a decision you usually make when starting again or, more commonly, when you need to get your life together.

Below, you’ll find ten tips to have a completely different closet and simplify your life.

Get rid of the items you don’t use anymore. When I say “get rid” I don’t mean you have to throw them away: try selling them on particular sites for clothing and accessories, give them to a friend or donate them to those in need. This way, not only will you free yourself from stuff you haven’t used in over a year, but you’ll also make some money out of it or help who’s less lucky.
Make a list of what you need. Avoid buying every piece of clothing you like, instead make a list of what you absolutely need in your wardrobe.
Discover your style. A lot of people basically conform to the general fashion of the period: be different. Discover items and piece f clothig from different years and decide what to keep from today’s fashion. Don’t be afraid of wearing 80’s fashion if you like it, being ourselves is what makes us cool.
Write down what the basics are for you. There are some pieces of clothing that are useful in different occasions and we should always own. For example, invest in an elegant dress that fits you well and you can use in different occasions. Also, remember not to underestimate owning at least one elegant pair of shoes and, on the other side, a pair of boots.
Go shopping for what you need with a friend. A friend you trust is absolutely necessary when buying new clothes. They’ll help you find out what fits you better if they’re honest, so ask them to be. Inform them about what you need, and ask them to stop you from buying unnecessary stuff.
Be informed about the new styles. Not because you have to buy all the new stuff that comes out, but because you could discover some interesting pieces that complete your wardrobe, or help you develop your style.
Organize your wardrobe so that you are able to reach everything and can visualize your clothes without difficulties. Keep the underwear in a drawer, together with the socks, and hang the dresses.
Don’t put dirty clothes back in your wardrobe. I know this may seem obvious, but if you still do it, please stop. Dirty clothes need to be washed, no matter if it’s a little stain or a big one.
Question your style at times and don’t be afraid of change, but, at the same time, question yourself when you feel like buying a new piece of clothing on whether you really need it.

5 recent songs for social change

At times, songs are as well-thought as books: these 5 recent songs from the past 10 years, which go towards recent issues, are totally worth listening!

Looking for America by Lana del Rey (2019). A song by my favourite artist, regarding the recent shootings in El Paso and Dayton, and the necessity of controlling guns.
Born this way by Lady Gaga (2011). Who doesn’t know this song about the necessity of accepting and being accepted for who you are?
Same love by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis (2012). A song about gay rights and, overall, acceptation of the LGBTQ+ community.
The A Team by Ed Sheeran (2011). Ed Sheeran sings about a woman, a sex worker, and her being human, despite the way people look at her.
Alright by Kendrick Lamar (2015). A song that’s become the anthem of Black Lives Matter.

What are some other songs about political or social issues that touch your heart? Let us know in the comments below.

How to deal with toxic parents

Here’s a simple guide in 10 steps on how to deal with toxic parents, since I know how hard it can get at times. First of all, remember you’re loved, and, if you need anything, or just need to talk, feel free to message me:)

Remember your value. You’re a special, kind human being, who’s dealing with a difficult situation, but believe me, you’ll get out of it and you’ll get better. I know it can get hard at times to believe in yourself when your parents are the first ones to drag you down. If you feel suffocated under the pressure of their comments, reach out for help: you deserve it. Don’t ever let the people you love tell you you’re other than strong, brave and beautiful.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions. One thing I’ve heard so much while growing up was: “They’re still your parents”, as a way to say I had to love them, no matter how they behaved. Well, forget it. Toxic is toxic, I don’t care if it’s your friends or your family, remember what’s better for yourself. Don’t ever let the bond you have with a person justify the way they make you feel. You don’t have to love your parents, or even like them. Express the way you feel towards them, no matter what you’re told to do.
Make space for yourself. In a toxic family, spaces are often difficult to find. Always remember flowers need sunlight to bloom, and they cannot grow in the shadow. You cannot grow in a toxic environment: set boundaries, see your friends more often if you need to, go for a walk when you feel overwhelmed and don’t force yourself to stay still when things aren’t working out for you.
Get therapy. A toxic thing my mother told me while growing up was that, if I asked for therapy, the problem was mine. Getting therapy is in no way a dimonstration of weakness, therapy is a moment when you allow yourself to breathe, to figure out the ways you need to react to a difficult situation. Don’t renounce it for what your parents think of it.
Find support. Your friends aren’t psychologists, but they’re loving and supporting people who want to help you grow. Trust them, ask for help when you need it, don’t isolate youself.
Don’t vent out too much with your friends. If finding support in your friends is what you need to do in order to feel good, venting out too much with them will affect the relationship you have with them. As I said before, your friends aren’t psychologist: remeber it. If you find yourself asking for a bit too much support, consider therapy.
Don’t fall into their traps. Something my mother does a lot is becoming extremely nice all of a sudden, apparently for no reason at all. I used to always fall into it when I was younger. I became optimistic and thought that things could finally work out between us. Time has shown that it was just a perpetual cycle: after a while she would get angry at me for a meaningless event, and I would feel bad about it and about myself again. It’s called intermittent reinforcement, and makes you believe you are the problem in the relationship. You are not. Don’t stop being optimistic, just direct your optimism elsewhere: believe in yourself, in your friends, in the relationships you’re building.
Don’t expect deep conversations. I’ve always loved discussions, and have tried a lot to have deep, meaningful ones with my parents. I don’t think I have to say it never worked. Don’t expect your parens to understand you or to tolerate any difference between the two of you. Your opinion is valid and important: feel free to express it with your friends, and all those people you love the most. Don’t waste your time in stupid conflicts when you know it will end up like that.
Keep a diary or a journal. Writing what you’re going through and your feelings will help you perceive them from a more objective point of view. What at first sight may seem a huge problem, when you think about it, will become a lot easier. Use your jounal to express your thoughts and analize difficult situations.
Their behaviour doesn’t define who you are. You aren’t someone’s daughter or son, you are someone. Decide who you want to be and figure out who you are. It’s up to you to decide it. Don’t normalize their behaviour, expect yourself to be better and work for it.

10 habits to make your life better

Getting stuck in a place is one of the worst things to experience, in particular if it’s a psychological state. Most of the time, change is actually possible through little steps to better yourself day by day.

Eat better: you don’t realize how much of an impact eating makes on your life until you start eating better. You can find out how to change your habits meal by meal here.
Get enough sleep. Sleep is such an underestimated aspect of our life. Most of the time, we don’t understand the importance of having a regular sleeping schedule and the benefits it can have on our bodies. Sleep is the battery we have to recharge, it’s a moment to let our mind relax and run free and it contributes to a large variety of bodily functions.
Learn a new skill every month. If food and sleep are important for the body, learning a new skill every month will help your mind stay young and focused on your life goals. You can find a list of underrated skills that will better your life here.
Drink more water and less alcohol. I know, your friends drink and you can’t refuse champagne at a party, but try to keep alcohol for special occasions. Alcohol alters your bodily functions, while water is necessary to keep you at your best.
Move your body. Your body is made to be moved. Your mind quits a lot earlier than your body does: kick yourself out of the sofa and go for a walk, you will feel a lot better after it. Consider scheduling at least three workouts/walks every week, ask a friend to start a new sport program together.
Declutter your house, your car, your desk at work. Throw away all those unnecessary things that you’ve kept “just in case” and have used once in the last three years. Clean your wardrobe, donate those clothes that you don’t use anymore, you can also try to sell the ones in good conditions to a second-hand shop and get some money out of it.
Focus on a big goal. Choose a goal that’s important for you to accomplish and focus on it. Invest your energy in a long-time plan and put all your effort in achieving that big goal. Three years from now, you’ll thank yourself.
Plan your days. Planning your days will help you stay focused on what’s important or what you actually want. It will help you avoid distractions, manage your time and put you ahead of work. You can find out how to write an effective list of goals here.
Set internet controls. It’s difficult, at times, to keep track of the time we waste on the internet. Don’t get me wrong, the web is a beautiful place if you use it wisely, but how often do you find yourself scrolling through instagram or facebook? Reduce the time you spend that way and invest it on a new hobby.
Read a new book every month. Your mind needs to be fed, and reading is a great way to do it. Choose books of the topics that you’re interested in the most and, in the beginning, try to force yourself into reading. Remember it takes 21 days to build a habit: don’t quit. You can find a list of great books to read here.

10 underrated skills to learn

There are a lot of underrated skills that will help you into adulthood, and are definitely worth knowing. If you’re looking for something new to learn, here is a bunch of stuff you may be interested in.

Learn how to cook. It may seem a clichè, but cooking actually is a really relevant part of life. Not only does it help financially, since you don’t have to always go out to eat, but it can also get very pleasant at times. What are you waiting for? Buy a new cook-book and try out your first recipes.
Learn a new language. Learning a new language may take a bit of time, but it will help you keep your mind trained. Language also shapes the way we think, speaking more than one language will help you be more open-minded. If you’re interested in this topic, consider taking a look at this Ted Talk.
Start journaling. Journaling is an art, it helps you relax and think about your day at the same time. Like that, it enables you to become creative and to get to know yourself better. You can find a guide on how to keep a journal here.
Learn how to write. Writing is something we’re all capable of doing, but how often do you actually write for yourself? Take a course of creative writing, or start trying out different styles. You could begin from a diary and, later on, switch to tales and poetry and, who knows, maybe a novel one day.
Learn how to do taxes. I have to confess that I myself cannot do it by myself yet, but I’m planning to learn it someday. It might actually take a bit of time, but it’s something worth understanding in the world we live in.
Play a sport. Sports are important to keep you busy and assure you a healthy body. Hit the gym, join a basketball team, run a marathon, I don’t care, get out of your house and move your body.
Learn new communication skills. Educate yourself on how to have good conversations. You can find a lot of materials online, such as Ted Talks and mini-guides. Practice what you learn with your friends and see the positive effects that it has on your life.
Educate yourself on geopolitical issues of the time. Keep an eye open on actuality and the world news. Humankind needs people who understand the roots of contemporary facts and consequentely know how to act.
Understand how to be useful in your community. Volunteer your time, take part in a rehabilitation program and get to know the value of being useful to someone. Believe me, it will help you completely change your views and open your eyes on reality. You can find more reasons why you should totally volunteer your time here.
Learn how to take care plants. Plants are a responsibility, not a huge one, but still a responsibility. If you can keep your plants alive, water them daily and make sure they get enough sunlight, you’re at a good point on becoming more responsible.